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Recurring Themes (People hate me, mom trying to kill me)

4 years 10 months ago #1 by TinyMouse

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  • Hi there! I used to have nightmares constantly, and often times, the same types of themes would show up. Nowadays, my nightmares are less frequent, and the themes have changed a little. But last night, I just had two "old" themes come back seemingly out of nowhere, and both in the same dream.

    Theme #1 - People hating me
    This is one of my "newer" themes (it's been happening for about 3 years, which is new in comparison to most themes.) In these types of dreams, people will misunderstand me, and then get hate me. The first dream I had of this theme was that I accidentally sat an acquaintance's chair in a restaurant. She thought I did it on purpose. In fact, everyone in the restaurant thought that I had purposely sat there. I kept trying to explain that I didn't know that was her seat, and they kept yelling at me. I ended up getting angry and yelling back and trying to explain that I did not do it on purpose, but no one believed me. I realized nothing I did would convince them otherwise. 

    Theme #2 - Mother trying to kill me
    This is probably my oldest theme. I think this theme started around 9 years ago. Usually, my mom will be chasing me with a knife around the house. Every so often, I manage to leave the house, but she follows me. Once in a dream, she even followed me on a train, and through different states. A lot of times, I beg her to stop, but I'm never able to convince her. Nothing I do changes the fact that she wants to kill me. One time, and only one time that I remember, I actually ended up "winning" the fight. I trapped her in a bathroom and took the knife away from her. I begged her to care about me, I begged her to apologize, but she just laughed. I was screaming while crying and she couldn't care less.

    Theme #2 is one I haven't had in probably a year. I thought that it was gone and would not return again. However, as I said, last night, it came up again, along with the first theme. Here it is: 

    It was dark outside, and the feeling was very melancholic. There was just this heavy, dark feeling of pensiveness in the air. I got out a cigarette and started to smoke it. For context, I do not smoke. I was going to leave everything behind, become a new person. I wasn't going to care about right or wrong anymore, I just wanted to be left alone.. be someone else. That's part of why I was smoking, because smoking is just so heavily Not a part of who I am. The mood was so heavy and dark, I yearned so much to leave my entire life behind, everything.

    I was standing outside my mom's house and I was about to leave. Take some bags and just go and be a new person. But first, I had to go to the restroom.

    My mom got home and she had to go to the restroom, too. I used logic and calculated that, given how fast I pee, and how slowly she walks, I would definitely be out of the restroom by the time she reached it. This was a fact in my dream, not a guess.
    I told her I would go first, since I'd be done by the time she got there, but she started yelling at me. I then argued with her and tried to explain why it doesn't Matter if I go first, it has no negative effect on her, she won't have to wait any longer to go than she would if I went second.

    Then she said "Fine, I'll just go in my pants, since I would do that anyway!" (like saying that because I would go to the restroom first, she therefor would have no choice but to go in her pants because I'd be hogging it for so long.)

    I'm fully aware this is a very bizarre thing to dream about, but dreams are that way.

    But anyway, so she went in her pants, just to be passive-aggressive. She looked in a way that said it was my fault she did that. She looked so angry, like a rabid animal. I said to her, "You are disgusting." (Not for going in her pants, but for the fact that she behaves this way and blames me for things she does.) 

    Of course, that pissed her off, and she started chasing me around with a knife, trying to kill me.

    I ran out the front door and I had one bag with me, but there was a second bag in the back yard that I needed to get. I know it was light outside when I went out, but then it turned dark again when I got in the back yard. I tried to hide behind a tree, but then my mom saw me.

    I started running again, and then my uncle came out of nowhere. He was furious. So, so angry, his face red, I think he might have been drooling. He tackled me and pinned me to the ground and started yelling in my face.

    He told me that I'm a terrible person. I knew that he thought I was the worst person in the world, the worst person to have ever lived. He thought my mom did nothing wrong. He kept pointing his finger in my face and just screaming and screaming at me that I'm terrible. I kept being afraid he was going to kill me. I kept trying to get out of his hold, but I couldn't. I tried to explain myself, and I tried convincing him that I wasn't bad like he was saying I was, but I realized nothing I do would change his mind. He genuinely believed I was an awful person, and that was the worst feeling.

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