October 17th, 2014
　　I have been having a lot of really strange dreams lately, and I am really not sure what any of them mean. They have been showing me some strange visuals that have almost “haunted” me in my waking life. I don’t really know what I should be feeling about any of them.
　　First dream that came to me was about 4 months ago. This one I was in “my house”. It didn’t look anything like my actual house, but I know that it was for some reason. We were all hanging out, and I don’t really remember all the people that were there, but I knew I had a full house. First thing I really remember is that there was a guy that I liked there, and we were getting along really well. Like he was the one that God had created just for me or something. Then the two of us were out by a pool outside my house. We were all having a good old time when my Aunt Jeris came over to me. I got really nervous about showing affection towards him in front of her, but he was still holding on to me kissing my head, and trying to hold my hand. She was complementing me on him, and I don’t really remember anything she said to me, but I knew she was pretty much saying that she approved of me being with him. Next thing I really remember was being back in the house, and me plus a bunch of people (still don’t remember which ones) were all sitting in the living room enjoying the view of the mountains. Then some guy (still don’t remember who he was) pointed out that a huge pack of wolves were coming down the side of the mountain headed to my house. There was probably about 300 wolves almost charging at my house. Everyone inside got really nervous, but no one ran. It was almost like I could feel their energy coming off of them, and you could almost cut the tension in the room with a knife. That is when I noticed that Kiser (a dog that I had gotten really close to, but I am not friends with the owners anymore) was in my house. He was very tentatively looking at my door in almost a guarded posture. He wasn’t growling or anything, but he was acting like he was very alert, and would of killed if something went through the door that he was staring at. It was a door to the basement of the house, and I am not sure how I knew that, but I did. Then all of a sudden I opened the door to see one of the wolves coming up the stairs. It looked more like a black, and white husky with blue eyes. It was cautious yet assertive. It came right up the stairs, and stiffed around. I could tell it wasn’t going to attack anyone, but its presence was still like it was looking for something. Almost like a cop showing up at your door to search your house. I let it past, and Kiser sniffed him then allowed him in. Next thing I new all of them were coming up. The sniffed everything out, and I remember being nervous that they were there. What they would find, and who they would “accuse” almost. Then they went up to the guy that I was with my whole dream, and seemed like they were more “aware” of him. They were more on guard when it came to him. He seemed to get almost upset with me, and it was like he was hurt that I “sicked my dogs on him”. I don’t know how I know it, but it was like all of a sudden I realized they were MY pack. Even though they made me nervous. Then I don’t really remember what happened. Next thing I know I was walking into a TINY bedroom in my house There was just a bed, a chair, and a tv in the room. Plus my dad, and my ex boyfriend (who btw has NEVER met my dad, and my dad doesn’t even know he exists) were playing Tiger Woods golf of the TV. This is one of my dad’s favorite games. I was nervous that they were talking, and it was like I was scared about what they said to each other all of a sudden. Lastly I remember the “guy of my dreams” walking into the room, and it took him a second to adjust to what was going on. It was like there was a lot of tension, and that I had to choose between my ex, and him. I made it very clear with my body to everyone some how that I didn’t really like my ex, and that I was really into this new guy. I didn’t say anything, but it was like everyone could read my thoughts. He told me that he forgives me, and that no matter what he wanted to be with me. I ran up to hug him, and I was so happy. That is really the last thing I remember in the dream.
　　Then I awoke, and I was confused. I had a feeling that I was going to meet the “man of my dreams” soon, and that this dream was prophetic to it. I looked everywhere, but didn’t see anyone that made me think of the guy from my dreams. This went on for weeks, and I had many guys come up to talk to me, but none of them felt right. Then a few days later David Jacob (my now boyfriend), walked into my work with is friend James. I didn’t really notice either of them because they were busy talking to my boss, and I was busy working. I guess they noticed me though. Then a few days later his friend James came into my work. He informed me that he was friends with my boss, and that they had in fact noticed me. I couldn’t recall at the time what Jake (what David Jacob actually goes by) looked like. Then a few days later they came back into my work, but this time both of them were there. I really looked at Jacob (what I call him), and there was something there that I was interested in for the first time. He even had blue eyes that made me think of the first wolf in my dream.
　　Later that same night they went to Crystola for taco night; which I happened to be going to with my parents. When I got off work I showed up, and first thing Jacob came over to me, and made it very clear that he was going to pursue me. I was really nervous at first, and was almost wanting to leave because of it. There was something about him though that seemed to keep me there. It was like I wanted him to “claim” me even though we were in front of my parents. I have never had a boyfriend meet the parents, and so something like that is a big deal for me. We hung out drinking for the rest of the night, and then he took me home. We started “dating” almost immediately, and he made it really clear that he didn’t want me to hook up with other guys, and I made it clear I didn’t want him hooking up with other girls.
　　A month passes, and I have a dream that my whole town is being under attack by a evil witch with blonde hair. She is putting everything on fire, and is destroying everything. The whole town looks a mess, and the streets are cracked in a jagged line somewhat down the middle. It curves from right to left really though in a very real fashion. I first start helping some homeless “colony” put a tent together made of blankets. I tell them I will be back with some more blankets. I head into town, and that is when I really notice the destruction. I don’t know what to do, and remember being with some people, but I only remember Nikki being one of them. She is my best friend even though I don’t see her much. We were walking around, and everything was different, but I knew it was my hometown. After a bit I remember thinking if i do a “spell” for it to rain then the fires will get put out. So I do, and instantly it works. Everyone starts cheering. I remember going to help a black family, and they offer to smoke with me.
　　A few months pass (like 2), and then I had the second strange dream. I was in my work (that I had to quit because of a court case I was in), and even though I didn’t work there I knew it was still my place of work. I was at some strange dinner thing, and there was smoke everywhere. It made it really hard to see, but the kitchen in my work was much bigger, and there were more tables everywhere. My parents were there too, and they were smoking pot. Which isn't unusual for me, but it was strange in front of strangers. My mom wasn’t one to come out, and admit she smoked. Plus my mom was in a robe for some odd reason. I remember the robe too. It was the one she use to wear when I was little. (Later when I awoke she admitted that yes that was the robe she use to wear). I really remember my boss face that always had a smile on it. It wasn’t a good smile, and it wasn’t a bad smile, but I remember if I looked over he was always smiling at me. He is also a Kahuna Priest. Next I went outside, but it seemed like everyone was leaving me out. They would walk inside when I tried to talk to any of them. Then there was a horses that were acting aggressively towards me. They were allowing the others to pet them, but if I tried they would throw their head into me, and start trying to push me around. I still kept trying though. Then I went to the horses in the barn that were next to it. (Keep in mind that there are no horses at my work, and there is no barn outside my work). These horses too were acting aggressively towards me, and one jumped out of its pen to let me know that he didn’t want me to touch him. Next thing I knew I was cleaning the kitchen at my work. Everything was strange, and I really couldn't see now that the lights were on with the smoke. I didn't like being there. Then I went outside for a “breather”, and my boyfriend was there sitting in a chair. Next thing I know we are having sex on that chair. It was magical. Next I get up, and go inside. It takes me talking to a co-worker to realize that I am not wearing a shirt. It was the strangest sensation. I ran to get my shirt, and realized it was my hippy tie died one that says “they are kidnapping me”. That is really the last thing I remember.
　　Then again a few weeks go by, and I get my job back. I have my court date in a week, and I am trying really hard. Then I have a dream that I am in a huge house. It was a SUPER nice house, and everything looked onto everything. All the rooms had their own huge nice bathrooms, and everyone was in there. Everyone! Then I remember being in a huge building in the stairwell. I was walking up stairs, and I could sense the building start to almost quiver. Like it was warning me of a earthquake. I walk into the corner (btw this is a HUGE concrete building), and braced myself. The whole building shook, and kind of fell. I don’t remember it really being destroyed, but I remember being bruised on my hip, and shoulder from the force. The last thing I remember is going to my mom, and she didn't seem concerned Which upset me.
　　Finally a few days later my boyfriend was hanging out with his friend. He has started to somewhat pull away (sort of, but not really). It is mostly like he wants to go to bed before a certain time so he wont let me come over, and then on Friday night I get ready, but he goes to hang out with his friends. Then he called me at 11:30 at night to hang out, but I was already asleep. Then I fell back asleep after barely waking up to see him calling (I wasn't even sure at first he really called, or if i dreamed it). Then I had a dream that I don’t remember everything to. I just remember him being there, some older lady, my friend Nikki, and me. I was talking to my friend Nikki, and she told me that he had lipstick on the zipper of his pants. I went down to confront him, and something inside of me knew that he was hiding something about this older lady. I was very upset, but I remember forgiving him. I don’t remember him asking for forgiveness or even looking concerned. I just remember me telling him if he did that again that I would leave him. He agreed to be with me though, and agreed to not do it again. He was very stone faced though. I awoke, and I was scared, and mad at him. I just “knew” he was cheating on me. I was so upset the next day that I got into a fight with him. My relationship has been strange with him every since. I can’t get that dream out of my head.
　　Now I am so suspicious of him, and can’t stop thinking that he will find someone else that he wants, or that he might go back to an ex. Which I have had happen to me in my last two serious relationships. He swears he wont cheat on me, but I can’t seem to get it out of my head. He has before told me that I can go through his phone, but I don’t want to be that kind of girlfriend. I don’t want to check their browser history, or go through texts to see who/what they are talking about, or go through their social media sights. So I didn't, but I still can’t get it out of my head that he is still doing it because he knows I wont look. It is driving me crazy, and it makes it worse when he asks for space. We see each other every other night, and for me that is a lot. He often times acts like he wants to see me those nights, but I feel its more because I ask for them every other night. I under stand he needs his space so I don’t expect to go over there two nights in a row anymore (even though I use to). I do expect to see him every other, and most on the weekends. If he doesn't I feel rejected, and I feel like he just wants time to find someone else that could be better. I don’t want to loose him, but I know what what I am doing is causing him to push away. I have been trying to dress up more, and not let him know that I am being insecure, but sometimes that makes me freak out more the next day. I wish I knew what to do, and fix this. I haven’t been like this in any other relationship, but the last 3 I have been cheated on. The black one (that was in the first dream) had actually been emotionally, and physically abusive as well. Then the very last one would tell anyone who would listen that he didn't want me, but then would tell me he did. That he wanted to be with this other girl that he was about to move in with. Then would tell me that he was moving in with some guy friends, and that they were all lying to me. Then finally I FINALLY checked to see if he had a Facebook page, and found out that he had started one. Actually adding the other girl as his girlfriend on it. I was so upset, and rejected feeling that I lashed out. It wasn't because I really liked him either. I was pretty much over him because he was stupid. Knowing though that he was pulling the wool over my eyes, and making me look stupid to my friends pissed me off. I lashed out really hard, and burned that bridge.
　　I guess what I am getting at is that I am scared that Jacob is a lot like the last guy I dated. That I am just being too trusting to ever be with someone who wont cheat. It doesn't help that this new boyfriend reminds me looks wise like the old boyfriend. Plus he is pretty admit about working out, but they both have different family backgrounds. Both of them are southern, but one was born for a southern mother who slept around, and taught him to lie (I met them both), and Jake’s mother seems like the real southern bell. Who is married to her high school sweet heart. I don’t know why though. Please help me figure out if I was really seeing him cheating, and what my dreams are trying to warn me about. Are they staying I am being over worried about this, and that they are warning me that it will harm me? Or are they warning me that things are falling, and that I am subconsciously seeing it, but don’t want to fully admit it?