Hi Alice—
I know your dreams of your ex are disturbing, but they really are nothing to feel guilty about! Instead, they reflect an unmistakable surge of your self-esteem—and that is cause for a well-deserved pat on the back! Here’s why:
In the past, your dreams of your old boyfriend always showed you in a frustrating position of powerlessness. In the dreams he would not show up for meetings, was unavailable by phone, or he couldn’t hear you. The dreams were a painful reminder of the rejection you felt much earlier in your life.
Recently your dreams have changed. Not only is your old boyfriend clearly represented, he also can hear you, he listens to you, and he pays attention to what you are saying. Finally your old boyfriend is valuing your time and presence, and making himself available to communicate and spend time with you.
You are confused by these dreams because you are so happy in them. What is important to recognize, however, is that your dreams simply are mirrors—in which, for years, you have been evaluating your self-esteem. When your lover rejected you, your sense of self-worth naturally suffered. (You weren’t “good enough” for him.) In this light, the change that has occurred in your dreams could not be more significant. After years of self-doubt, you suddenly are feeling much better about yourself, and consider yourself fully his equal. Your recent dreams reflect your belief that, were you to meet again, he would be interested in you, would find your life and career interesting, and would value time spent with you.
Your dreams are related to dreams of celebrities. Celebs are people who enjoy high social status. When celebs appear in our dreams, it always is significant how we relate with them. If they reject us or if it is difficult for us to communicate with them (like your dreams of rejection), it means we are feeling frustrated in our attempts to achieve a particular status in our lives. When we dream that celebs are our friends (it doesn’t matter if we like the celeb or not) it means that we are feeling good about ourselves. We believe we are “celeb material” ourselves.
Your dreams do not represent any real desire on your behalf to see your old boyfriend, or to leave your husband, nor do they reflect discontent in your relationship at home. On the contrary, it is because you feel so good at home—because you feel so positive about the relationship you have created with your husband—that you are having these dreams of high self-esteem.
What’s the meaning? These dreams really aren’t about your old boyfriend. Instead, they’re all about you—and how confident you are feeling about yourself these days. Congratulations!
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