Hi Anonymous -
Kids are involved, and you are attracted to a “dark” and “empty” relationship with a man ten years your junior, who, in your own words, obviously is not a solution to anything? If there was more light in that dark room - you might have noticed the message that’s written all over the walls of this dream: It’s marriage counselor time!
Even if you are fed up with your husband, you owe it to your children, not to mention yourself, to learn the least damaging way to extricate yourself from your marriage - if you decide it was a mistake - or the best way to give it another go - if that is your decision. If you are motivated to cheat on your husband as a way of hurting him - because you have been hurt by him - I urge you to consider that anytime we “stoop” to another person’s level, we invariably lower ourselves in the process. The answer’s so simple! Take the high road, end the hurt game, and start working toward solutions - whatever path you choose. Find a woman counselor you respect, go by yourself at first if you are more comfortable, and spend fifty dollars to have her help you to sort out your emotions. It may be the most valuable fifty dollars you ever will spend.
We wish you the best of luck!