When I was younger I went to an English boarding school. It was a girls’ school to start with but became co-ed when I was 16. There was a guy there, he seemed to be very popular. At first I didn’t know why, but we were cast in a play together and there was a bond. I might add that we never were an item. He dated all my friends, but never me.
I became besotted with this guy (let’s call him John for anonymity). One night I dreamed a long involved dream that I have mostly forgotten, but it was about him. He had died in a car accident and most of the school was going around looking forlorn, crying with all the girls saying, “I never told him how much I really loved him.” I remember just being silent. I remember feeling confused and a part of me saying that this was a dream and it was telling me to let go as he would never be mine.
In the dream I walked out of the school into the small town. A woman came up beside me, she looked like a gypsy girl although she was dressed normally, but had large green eyes, thick wavy long black hair and a big smile (there was a market in the square that day). She was in her forties and I trusted her. She touched my arm to make me stop and look at her.
She said, “He loves you, but he is not for you. You know that. Take this to close the hole in your heart. It is pure joy.” She put something in my hand, keeping eye contact all the time, and closed my fingers around it. I felt happier. I felt like I understood—but I didn’t know what I understood! I walked back into the school. In my hand was a small prancing unicorn or white horse—I just knew that it was magical. It was alive (bear in mind this was years before Harry Potter had even been thought of) and it shook its head at me and swished its tail.
The school was in turmoil. John wasn’t dead, everyone was fawning over him as he walked across the school lawns. He saw me and walked across to me. He didn’t say anything. All I did was open my hand and show him the unicorn. He just looked into my eyes, smiled and nodded slowly, before walking away.
Then I woke up. A friend of mine has a photo taken the next day. A group of us was discussing the Christmas celebrations and decorations. John and I were in that group, but not talking together. But my friend has a photo where everyone is talking animatedly except us, and we are looking directly at each other. I don’t remember it, I only had the photo as evidence.
The dream above is incomplete, it happened over a decade ago, but I have never been able to interpret it. John recently has come back into my dreams, unbidden. In one of my recent dreams I showed him the horse, to show I still had it. He once again just smiled and nodded.