an emotional winter

I have had a recurring dream for many years. In my dream I am alone, walking down a road on some important mission. I have a real sense of urgency about getting to this unknown destination. The weather is very cold and I am not dressed warmly enough, which irritates me, since I am from the south (true), and do not like cold weather. I am aggravated that I have to make this journey on foot in the cold.

Along the way I see a large body of water as if the area I need to walk to next is flooded. I am a bit fearful at this point since I am not a good swimmer. The water is very cold and the wind is blowing over the water making it move just slightly. I don’t know if the water is shallow or deep, but I know that swimming is not an option.

So I begin to think and plan how I am going to get around or over this water. I have an intense feeling of aloneness because no one is around to help me. I am also uncomfortably anxious because of the delay in getting where I need to go. I have to figure this out for myself. However, I never doubt that I will figure it out and at the same time I am fearful that if I don’t find a way, that I might have to swim and I know I won’t make it. Once I figure out a way, however, I know it’s the right decision.

Some times in the dream, I look around until I find a piece of wood not even large enough to support my body, but I sit on it and I float easily across the water much like being on a flying carpet. Once I even dreamed that I walked across the water to get to my destination! In the dream I don’t know where I am going, but I know when I’ve gotten there. Then I wake up.

Why do I always dream about a cold body of water that makes me fearful, that is in the way of my destination?

Some background about me: I am a commissioned salesperson and self-supporting. I raised my two children almost single handedly since a divorce 16 years ago. I was married for nineteen years. My children are grown and have families of their own. I remarried 3 years ago to a wonderful man, but was single almost 12 years. Generally, I am very happy and contented with my life.

—Meredith, Married, USA

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