Hi Amber -
Would you entertain the idea that vampires may represent power to you - that you are attracted to the (supernatural) powers that they have - and that you also are attracted to the power that men have?
I believe your dreams are “animus rising” dreams - that is, the masculine side of your personality is being expressed through the metaphor of the vampire. Vampires are beings of transformation and metamorphosis. When they bite you - you become one of them. In your dreams the vampires always are male - and as you yourself write, you “desperately” want to become one. When you do, you adopt many qualities that can only be described as masculine. You become coldhearted and vicious. “Where are your feelings,” asks the fellow dream character? “I have none,” you respond.
Who is the feeling sex, and who is the un-feeling sex?
I think the joy (bloodlust) that you derive from being a vampire in your dreams reflects your own weariness, on occasion, with the burdens of “being a woman.” With two graduate degrees in business, you are competing daily in a “man’s world.” You may occasionally wish that you were male - in the sense that it might enable you to avoid some of the “gender gap” barriers that still lurk in the workplace - just as you may have - when you were a young girl of fifteen - had similar fantasies once you began to see how men’s and women’s roles are divided in this world.
I don’t think you need counseling at all for your dreams. To the contrary, I genuinely believe that your dreams are reflecting the healthy expression of the masculine side of your personality. I think it is refreshing for both men and women to throw off the stereotypes of gender and “acceptable roles” to play in this world - inherited from previous generations.
The goal of the unified personality, according to Carl Jung, is to develop, cultivate, and unify both the masculine and feminine elements inherent in us all. Just as men are restricted by Marlboro Man images of masculinity (tough guy, never shows feelings, big boys don’t cry) - women are constrained by “Stand by your Man” (obedient wife, perfect home, food on the table when Hubby gets home from work) images of femininity. I say let the vampire out of his box a bit - that “dark portion of my being” - and let him get some sun. Feel your masculine energy - allow yourself to think in new and different ways - allow yourself to develop according to your own inner voice. It’s a whole new world out there - thanks to women like yourself - and you seem very well equipped to deal with it.
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