animus rising

I am submitting this as a potential first step towards determining if counseling is required. Beginning at age 15, in a rather sudden and puissant fashion, I began regularly dreaming about vampires. This string of dreams and theme has continued steadily for eleven years. When I was a teenager, I attributed this to popular culture, hormones or teen angst. However, as a successful 26 year old, with two master’s degrees and a very happy marriage/sex life, I do not understand their continuation.

In the dream, I am rarely a vampire, and the other vampires present are always male, with dark hair. Sometimes, these vampires vaguely resemble people I know, or people I know very well suddenly reveal they are indeed vampires. I am always drawn to these residents of my dream and desperately want to be a vampire as well. On the few occasions when I have been a vampire, I have been male and female (my natural gender). I am fairly vicious and unfeeling. In fact, in one instance some eight years ago, a fellow character in the dream asks “where are your feelings” and I respond “I have none.”

These dreams are always in vivid color and I always remember every detail. They are enjoyable. What disturbs me is the accompanying bloodlust that accompanies my persona in these dreams. When I look around my life for latent hatred or violent tendencies, I find none. I do not feel someone is trying to drain the life from me in the “real world.” Nor do I feel out of control. But, nonetheless, there is this dark portion of my being that frequently reveals itself in my dreams as desperately needing to be a supernatural vampire or on occasion being a supernatural vampire.

If it helps, here is some supplemental information about the dreams and me.

Reoccuring vampire abilities: flight, immortality, yellow iris in the eye or extremely pale blue.

I am female, 26, married, 3 cats, two graduate degrees in business, I travel internationally often, very happy childhood in wealthy family and fairly happy marriage.

Most recent vampire dream plot: I am visiting a mentor from highschool. I am walking with him through the hall when I ask him if he believes in vampires. He looks at me and says yes indeed I do, in fact I know one. Quite suddenly two very small fangs emerge on his upper teeth. I am not shocked - but elated and state “finally, after so many years.” I offer forth my neck and am bitten. The “draining” is pleasurable, but I am not killed. The dream ends with the knowledge that a second bite is soon to come and that I am safe and fulfilled.

Any insight into this confusing eleven year pattern would be much appreciated.

 --Amber, Age 26, Spokane, WA, USA

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