Your dreams of falling down while walking in a crowd, and of being paralyzed, reflect concerns that you will “not be able to reach” your next destination. Like most dreams of being unable to run, hit, or defend ourselves against an attacker, your dreams are reflecting occasional feelings of powerlessness, and doubts about your ability to “keep up” with your friends and peers.
It is significant that your aunt recently appeared in the dream, illuminating the role of the person who always sees you, but who never lends a hand to support you. Given the background you have provided, I agree your aunt most likely represents family generally. You have told us already that your relationship with your mother was strained, and that she “made it clear she didn’t want me.” Is it possible your aunt is substituting for your mother, whom you continue to feel does not support you?
The message of “can’t hit,” “can’t run,” and “can’t walk” dreams always is the same. If we’re feeling depressed, if our confidence in ourselves is “sagging,” it’s time to identify the obstacles that stand in our path, and reassert our goals and desires. I am delighted to learn that you enjoy your work as much as you do. Your job most likely gives you a sense of support and accomplishment that you do not receive at home. As you work hard to build and establish your life away from your family, it is important that you find healthy, “normal” relationships with other people—who respect your work and personality.
Next time you begin to doubt yourself, remember that you persevered through high school, and graduated. If you persevere at your new job, you will be rewarded there as well. If you keep up the good work, soon your dreams of paralysis will be replaced by dreams of flight. Then you will be enjoying the liberation—of having triumphed over a difficult past.