Hi Shelley -
Thank you for sharing your powerful dream.
I believe Amy appeared in her “real” form in your most recent dream because your situation, in the last few days, became much more critical. In the past, it appears Amy was content with merely reassuring you that she is not really dead - that her spirit lives on. Indeed, this appears to be the kernal of truth contained within your recurring dreams of Amy; you always tell her you had “a nightmare” that she died. The suggestion is that death itself is an illusion - like a dream.
A second reason why Amy may have disguised her appearance from you is revealed in the current dream. When your mother enters the room, Amy assumes the personage of a jittery young man - so as to not “wig out” your mother. Do you think it’s possible that, in previous dreams, Amy did not want to “wig out” someone else - you - whom she often visited during periods of crisis? Perhaps you weren’t ready, before, for an in-depth tour of the spirit world. After your recent low, however - during which time you seriously flirted with the idea of suicide - Amy may have felt that a more serious talk was in order.
The question always will remain, of course, as to whether you simply are dreaming of Amy’s response to your emotions or if, as she says in your dream, she really is hearing you across the chasm that separates the living and the dead. To her credit, Amy’s description of the spirit world coincides with most of the great teachings on the “after-life.” The problems we have in this life do not “evaporate” or “release” merely because we die. To the contrary, if we have emotional problems and unresolved issues at the time of our death, then we, logically enough, carry this “karma” forward into our next life. Amy’s message from the other side is clear; deal with your problems in this world, and accept pain as part of the learning process. Suicide is not a solution.
At one point in the dream Amy repeats that she feels your pain, and tells you to hang on. Then you watch Amy transform into you, then back into herself. You also report feeling tired. Is it possible Amy was imparting a bit of super-human strength to her friend in need? That this is the symbolic significance of her transforming into you, and also explains your tiredness? (Your batteries were getting re-charged)? If so, you would hardly be the first person to gain strength from the life of another who went before us. I hope it’s true, Shelley.
Manic-depressive disorder, as you know, is an exceptionally challenging disease. It also often takes a long time to find a treatment that works. One piece of good news contained in your dream report, however, is that your recent low almost certainly was caused, in part, by the post-partum disturbance of hormone levels following the (Congratulations!!!!) successful delivery of your fourth child. Once you get through this difficult period, you have every reason to suspect that these types of lows are a thing of your past and will not recur. In the meantime, Shelley, draw strength from your family, friends, and loved ones - both here and in the spirit-world - and remember Amy’s wise advice. Pain is part of the process, and remember to “hold on.” The lows always pass.
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