crystal ball

Dear Rose—

Your dream appears to be a classic "dual images" type of dream, where one image revolves or alternates with another, showing us two sides of a character's personality. It is also interesting that these images appear in your dream suspended in water, as if in a crystal ball. Water in dreams almost always is associated with emotions. Thus we have every reason to suspect your dream is reflecting two different emotions which you hold for the same person -- your mother.

I am happy to hear that you and your mother currently enjoy a strong and close relationship. It is clear from your dream report that this was not always the case. In fact, it sounds like your mother's life, during the time when you were a child, was quite hectic. You describe her "running in and out of your life," and only visiting you maybe five times.

An absent parent is confusing to a young child for many reasons. A child will feel unloved and unimportant if a parent does not spend time with him or her, and also may internalize the "blame" for the parent's neglect. That is, a child will wonder what he or she has done wrong to cause this behavior. We don't know the reasons for your mother's absence, but your dream certainly suggests that, even at a young age, you saw her behavior as "crazy" and cruel. No one likes being laughed at -- especially a child -- yet this is how you felt your mother was treating you, at least part of the time.

Why the beautiful photo of your mother, with "her long black hair flowing as if the wind is catching it?" Perhaps a photograph of your mother was all you had to look at during her protracted absences. The image also sounds a bit idealized. It would be normal if, as a child, you glamorized your mother or otherwise created stories that explained her absence.

The most valuable thing parents can give their children is their time. I'm glad your mother's life has recovered sufficiently so that you two can be together now and know each other. When it comes to parents, it's always better late than never.

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