Hi Cristin—
The message of this dream is that you feel like your baby is about to be taken away from you—and you don’t like it one bit!
The courtroom in your dream is a reference to your current legal proceedings (asking for child support, negotiating custody rights and visitation schedules), but it also is a symbolic location where feelings of guilt and punishment are being weighed. In the dream you feel guilty for having murdered a man, but you also feel that your crime was an act committed in self defense. You were trying to protect yourself and your baby! Could there be an act more natural—or just?
Murder in dreams is a common metaphor for anger, and for our desire to “make someone go away.” Your baby’s father’s recent decision to move to another state has forced you into complex legal and emotional waters. Is it possible that, at a subconscious level, you wish he, and this entire situation, would “simply go away?” Is this desire the “murder” for which you feel responsible?
The sentence pending before you is death or life in prison. Death most likely represents the separation you feel in advance at being forced, legally, apart from your child. Life in prison is a likely allusion to the future. You are aware you will have to endure this shared custody agreement for the remainder of your son’s pre-adult life.
If you haven’t already visited a marriage and family counselor, now is a great time. A good counselor will inform you of your rights and responsibilities as a single parent, and should be able to refer you to a lawyer or legal services outfit for representation in court. As you prepare earnestly for your future, your feelings of anger and helplessness will steadily transform into feelings of empowerment. The future will look different than you hoped (it always does), but with care and attention, it—and your son—both can flourish.
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