dissed by crush

A bunch of my friends, my crush, and I go to the movies every weekend. My crush knows I like him and he still treats me like a normal person. Anyways, I had a dream that he came up to me and started to call me a slut and was telling me that I was worth nothing at all. Then he kissed my biggest rival, right in front of me!! What's going on???

-- Dana, Age 14, Hamilton, CANADA

Hi Dana -

Not a nice dream! No wonder you woke up confused!

I think your crush's casual attitude when he is around you (the fact that he treats you like a normal person, when you have made your interest in him clear) is beginning to take its toll. You're starting to doubt yourself, and are wondering what's wrong you. How come he doesn't respond? Is it because I am a total loser ("worth nothing at all")? Have I made my interest in him too well known ("calls me a slut")?

Your crush says some mean things in your dream, but I don't think he really feels that way. To the contrary, I think you actually are hearing your own voice in this dream more than his - and it's a voice full of doubts!

It's always hard in a relationship when someone doesn't feel the same way we do. But I also have to wonder, in your case, if your fears aren't out-racing your heart. For example, have you considered that maybe this guy is just shy - especially when a group of friends is around? He also may be just as nervous as you are!

I think this dream calls for three deep breaths, five happy smiles into the mirror, and a reminder to tell that self-doubting voice in your head to relax a bit - or hit the road! Besides, it's obvious that all your friends like
you - that's why you have this great group that goes to the movies every weekend. But if you really want to know how your crush feels, I think you're going to have to spend some time alone together. And remember, no matter what happens, there are lots of cute guys out there - who are dying to meet a smart and funny girl just like you!

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