Hi Jim -
It’s a very powerful dream, though I suspect the message will be hard for you to hear, as I know that you still are interested in Jenny. But this dream really is telling you that Jenny is unhealthy - with problems that are much deeper than you currently understand.
Am I correct in assuming that the reason you are emotionally involved with Jenny is because you are attracted to her sexually? Put another way, I doubt it is because she is your equal behind a computer screen.
Usually when smart, sensitive guys like yourself fall for women who are emotionally troubled it is because they are 1) sexually immature, 2) on a bit of an ego trip - where they believe that they can change or rescue the misguided woman, and 3) naive as to the levels of consciousness that many people operate on in this world.
In your waking world, the fact that Jenny works as a dancer and that she hangs out with a verbally abusive boyfriend both are indicators that she is emotionally unhealthy. While we can forgive a young woman who is exploring her sexuality taking a few spins as a dancer - her recent return to her verbally abusive boyfriend is a darker indicator of Jenny’s current emotional state. Jenny allows herself to be treated poorly in a relationship, which is a reflection of low self-esteem. She believes she deserves to be treated poorly in a relationship - or she wouldn’t put up with it.
I agree that the initial part of your dream reflects your desire to interact with Jenny at a level that she can understand and appreciate - a basic sexual level - represented by the “studly buff guy.” What does this tell you about Jenny’s abilities in a relationship? She is attracted to non-communicative types who speak only in sexual body language? (This sounds like Jenny’s job description, doesn’t it? Perhaps she has met her match).
Your dream suggests that you do not know (you are in the dark) about Jenny’s sexuality - but that you are not stupid, either. You know she is fooling around. Your passing out in the dream may be a reflection of your real life drinking habits or it may symbolically represent being emotionally overwhelmed by your awareness of Jenny’s unhealthy sexuality. When you “come to” the room still is dark and you wonder where they are. You go outside and Jenny is leaving in a car alone. And then, of course, the dream gets weird.
You come back inside and there is half a deer carcass on the kitchen table, and a deformed dog. It is my belief that the deer carcass is a representation of how your subconscious has come to perceive Jenny. She is “half dead.” Similarly, the rest of the dead animals in the dream, I think, are an expansion upon this dream theme, which culminates in your reching up the dead bird feathers - which wakes you up. Deer are curious symbols in dreams, most often because of the easy double meaning of deer - as in dear (a loved one) and deer (the animal). Unless you have other, specific associations with deer that come to mind, I would leave yourself open to exploring this possibility - that the dead deer represents your dead “dear one.” The deformed dog is also a curious symbol. It is possible that “dog” is a play on words - god spelled backwards - indicating a deformed spirit as well. Again, I encourage you to assess you own associations with the dog and its presence in the dream.
The man who appears at the door, whom you feel you can trust, is a very interesting dream representation. I believe he represents your “higher self” - your inner wisdom and guide. First, you feel calm and safe in his presence. Second, he is a very big and tall man - as in your “larger self” and your “higher awareness.” It is also significant that you notice it has begun to rain in your dream at this time. Rain in dreams nearly always is associated with the release of tension and resolution. In other words, your higher self has arrived to show you the way out of your current situation.
Your higher self wants to show you something very important - and the dead carcass theme is repeated for you. It is very significant that you have the awareness in the dream that all these animals “looked as if they were eaten from the inside out by a virus or large parasite.” Again, the metaphor is that these creatures were sick on the inside (emotions, spirit) and that this inner illness is responsible for their death.
Why the dozens of carcasses? Perhaps it is a metaphor for a type of illness you perceive in many people around you. Certainly strip bars are not, as a rule, filled with the healthiest of folks. Do you think the birds are another of your dream’s play on words? Women are frequently referred to as birds - especially in Australian and European cultures. If the metaphor is sexual, the dream suggests you have overindulged a bit on these birds - and that they are making you sick. Your higher self warns you that dead birds can be dangerous - they carry diseases, and I think “diseases” can be translated both literally and figuratively.
This is a very powerful dream, Jim. I believe it is a warning dream as well as a gream of guidance and transformation. The dream offers a warning about the emotional poverty you are flirting with in your relationship with Jenny - and it is a transformation and guidance dream because it is showing you the way out - which is to stay away from these unhealthy individuals. Excess alcohol also is implied - which is an indicator that you need to evaluate the reasons why you are drinking too much.
Finally, you ask why your higher self didn’t seem to care while you were choking and throwing up the bird feathers. I believe it is because a significant period of decision-making is upon you - and the ball is in your court right now. You need to decide which road you are going to take in your life: the high road or the low road. It is a decision which you alone can make.
I think you’ve had a powerful conversation with your higher self, Jim - your inner voice - who obviously does cares a great deal for you. If you want to learn more about this wise force who came to visit, then resolve to take the high road in your life, because that is where you two will meet again.
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