soul mate gets killed

Hi Anonymous—

Given the background you provide, I have to agree that the woman in the dream who is sleeping (your mother), who is about to be murdered, represents an “ideal” of love, similar to that which exists between a mother and son. Accordingly, your dream suggests that your recent romantic disappointment has “killed” or “murdered” your hopes for this type of relationship developing between yourself and your friend.

Your dream symbolically represents the “death” of an illusion. The woman you are interested in has indicated, through her actions, that she does not reciprocate your feelings. The reason why your mother is present in this dream, and not your love interest, is because your mother represents the type of love you hoped to find.

It is normal among men and women to look for romantic partners who remind us of our parents. Our desire to find a partner who possesses qualities like a parent is healthy—if we had a good relationship with our parent. Where it often becomes problematic, however, is if we want the relationship so much, that we begin to “project” qualities of our parent onto a potential partner, imagining that they really are like this person, when in reality they are not. This prevents us from seeing our partner clearly—for who they really are.

Mike Meyers in your dream almost certainly represents yourself—your awareness that your love was an illusion. Death in dreams is a consistent symbol for change. Accordingly, your dream represents your own awareness that this illusion has been severely challenged, and is about to “pass on” (die).

It is difficult to surrender illusions we have held about loved ones, and of ourselves. Ultimately though, as we live and learn, we find that illusions never serve us well anyway. They are substitutes for reality, and soften the blow of life’s hammer, but in the end, anything that interferes with our perception of reality needs to be viewed with distrust.

Relationships maintained from a distance offer the most room for fantasy, because there is less day-to-day evidence to interfere with our dreams and imaginations. The gift that this type of romantic disappointment bequeaths us, however, is a liberation from naivete. Next time our romantic hopes are raised, we will sniff around many more times, because we will not want to be misled by our overzealous heart yet again. The lesson hurts, but it is a genuine rite of passage on the road to adulthood.

Because your dream is violent, it suggests you retain some angry feelings—which also is natural in the wake of disappointment. The Dream Doctor’s advice? Allow yourself to absorb the anger and the loss, because you really do want to learn from this experience. If you become bitter and unable to love in the future, then you will have lost the game of love. The goal now is to understand and forgive, so that you are able to love again in the future—once you find the right girl.

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