visiting a friend

Hi Andrew -

I think you should go pay a visit to your friend. I think it is clear from your dream reports that you care about her - as a friend - and wonder how she is doing. She most likely would enjoy seeing you as well. Now that she is the mother of an eight month old, you two have a lot of catching up to do. There have been some big changes in her life, and I’m sure your life has moved along as well.

I think the tension you feel in your dreams arises from a belief you hold that, somehow, if you pay a visit to your old friend, that this is equivalent to wanting to go on a date with her. This concern is reflected in the dream where you appear as “her boyfriend.” Often in relationships, couples can be insecure about their partners and can feel threatened by old friends. Do you think your girlfriend will feel threatened when you tell her you want to visit your friend? From what you have written there doesn’t seem to be any reason why she should. You have stated that you are happy with your girlfriend, and you two have been together a significant amount of time.

A bit of insecurity in a relationship is natural enough. A lot of insecurity can ruin what otherwise might have been a great relationship. Couples need to trust each other, and they need to give their partners room to breathe. Talk to your girlfriend, tell her about your dreams, and tell her that you want to go see your old friend. And when you go - make sure you hold up your end of the bargain. Don’t do anything your girlfriend wouldn’t want you to do. These small steps - when they are successfully completed - are how you build trust in a relationship.

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