Hi Jess -
Congratulations on crushing that annoying spider! Judging from your dream report (thanks for being so detailed as to the background), I definitely think the spider represented your ex, and some of those nagging feelings that were left behind by the negative experience you had dating him.
Spiders are creepy creatures. They also trap their prey in invisible webs of elaborate design. I think your ex-boyfriend’s behavior - sending the letters after breaking up with you - certainly fits the description of creepy - and it also sounds like he was trying to trap you - control you - in his carefully designed web. No wonder you dreamed that he was like a spider!
I am impressed by your maturity in managing your emotions and relationships. It is hard to end relationships with people that previously we cared a great deal for - but your trip to Hawaii, as you said, was an awakening for you. On that trip you realized that your relationship with your ex was not healthy - that you were with him for security instead of love. And despite all his worst efforts to make your life miserable once you told him goodbye - you stuck to your insight and did not let all the other distractions - his letter writing campaign and telling lies about you to your friends - sway you from your decision.
You describe both your difficult experiences - realizing he was not right for you and then having to deal with all his immature behavior - as periods of “awakening” for you. Surrendering illusions - about ourselves, our “friends,” our lives, our families - never is an easy process, but I think you are well attuned to your own sense of inner guidance. You trusted your inner voice, and as you said, it did not let you down. Though you went through a difficult period, you have grown and become a wiser, happier person in the process.
I don’t think this “old” dream of your ex - the spider - is going to bother you any more. As you observed in your dream, you are bigger and stronger than he is - and I think you have proved it not only in real life - but also to yourself. Congratulations again - and keep listening to that inner voice!
I wanted to thank you for reading and commenting on my dream - “a creepy spider.” I thought that the spider might have been my ex but, I was not sure. Things always sound more convincing when others say them. :^) I wanted to let you know you are right; I am a MUCH a happier person now. This guy, Mike, could be the one and yet, he might not be... but, what I have learned from this situation I will have forever... it will never go. (One of the things) I have learned in the past few months is that one can neither go back to the past nor change it; but, one CAN learn from it. And that is what I have done.
P.S. Mike says “Hi”... :^)