Hi Raquela -
Everybody makes mistakes in life. In fact, everybody makes a lot of mistakes. It’s how we learn!
Because we learn from mistakes, it’s important that we also not try to hide from them. In your case, I don’t think you are trying to hide from your mistake with Paul. You admitted it (to us) right up front, which I actually think is pretty big of you. I think you already learned the value of being cautious where intimacy is concerned.
But now you have a problem with Christian. Your past is coming back to haunt you a bit, which is what that ever-growing bed in your dream symbolizes. I think you’re afraid that Christian will feel different about you if he learns about your relationship with Paul.
Your dream is showing you that it is bothering you to not be completely honest with Christian. Why don’t you tell him and get it off your chest? Tell him what you told us here. That you made a mistake, but that you learned a valuable lesson from it. That you only want to be intimate with people that you’re really in love with. From what you’ve told us about Christian, I bet he’ll understand. It’s a good lesson to learn early on in life - for anyone.
Paul, on the other hand, needs to be told to get out of your life. Close the door, gently but firmly, and concentrate on the guy you’re in love with - Christian!
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