Hi Anonymous -
Dreams show us thoughts and feelings that we are experiencing - even though sometimes we may not be consciously aware of them. In your case, it is clear from your dreams that your “best friend” is on your mind - and that you are attracted to him sexually.
I understand that your dreams make you feel weird and guilty, however I also must ask you how unusual or strange these dreams really appear to you - as I suspect that you most likely are aware of your attraction to this old friend - and I would think that you also are aware of your sexual attraction to him as well. Perhaps your dreams are playing out fantasies that you don’t allow yourself to think about or dwell upon while you are awake - in which case you find the dreams disturbing or surprising. But I think you also need to take note of the fact that you have kept in touch with your old friend for all these years - so you know that there is a bond that keeps you two in touch.
You write that all your dreams end up with you two having sex. He says he has had sexual dreams about you. It’s clear the attraction is mutual - but the question you need to answer is - what do you want to do about it? You may not have ever consummated your early attraction to this man when you dated many years ago - so perhaps you have that lingering question of what it would be like to be sexually involved with him. You may also be experiencing the “seven year itch” that nearly every couple goes through. You have been together a while - and the newness has worn off and you begin to wonder if your current partner is correct for you.
If you genuinely are perplexed by your feelings, a visit to a marriage counselor most likely will prove helpful. A marriage counselor will advise you that looking outside your marriage for sexual fulfillment usually is a sign that something at home needs work. You will be encouraged to take another look at your mate - to get a new start - to learn to re-appreciate each other and to re-appreciate all the reasons you fell in love and joined together eight years ago. I would certainly recommend you - for the time being - to treat your flirtation with this other person as an unwelcome threat to your marriage. Nothing you have written in your dream report suggests that your relationship with your husband is bad, abusive, or in danger of breaking up. If you and your best friend get together you will significantly injure the trust that you share with your husband. Is the curiosity of an old fling worth it? If your “best friend” is encouraging you to have an affair - is he really a good friend? A lot of people can’t control their attractions - or they think a new person will fix their problems or depression. Neither scenario is a mature understanding of happiness.
If your relationship with your husband was suffocating and avenues for repair had been exhausted, I might encourage you to explore life outside of it. Given the information that you have supplied, however, I think you are opening a dangerous door in your life if you pursue this flirtation. Your dreams show that you are attracted to another person - but they just as well may be interpreted - in the context of your marriage - that there is business to attend to at home.