Hi Andrea -

Your dream seems to reflect an ongoing desire, within yourself, to be married. It also seems to reflect your sense of disappointment that “the big wedding” - which I am sure you have daydreamed about for many years - didn’t happen.

It is interesting that you have a baby in the dream, and that the baby is decorated with earrings - one a gold ball, the other a gold hoop. Could the earrings be an engagement ring in symbolic form - the ball is the diamond - the hoop is the band? The wearing of earrings suggests a bit of a rebel’s style. Was your ex the rebel type? Also, would your having a baby (by your ex) be a rebellious act on your part? How did your parents feel about your ex?

We all know that children are the natural result of engagements and marriages, but the baby in your dream seems also to represent the love that you shared and expected to be sharing with your ex right now. Falling in love - at least my experience of it - is metaphorically a lot like giving birth. You create something very special between two people. And, when relationships don’t work out, it is very hard. As the dream ends, you are running away into the forest with your baby. Symbolically, I don’t think you want to let go of the love that you two created together. I also think this a very natural response to the sense of loss you feel.

On a less positive note in your dream is the fact that you tried to trick your ex into getting married with you! This is not the open and willing path of lovers. Have you considered some of the reasons that you want to get married at this point in your life - to the point where you actually would trick a lover into becoming married to you? You may want to fit in with your friends, you may want to have “the big wedding” you always have imagined, or you may simply not wish to be alone. All of these motivations, while natural enough, actually are suspect reasons for becoming married. Indeed, they suggest that you are more concerned with yourself - and with “getting married” as a selfish goal - rather than having a marriage which is a partnership of equals.

Marriage is not something you want to rush into, or do for the wrong reasons. It is a decision you will live with for the rest of your life. You are 21 years old, and while you may now be disappointed about your recent breakup, you may also, in the future, be grateful that you had more time to help you make such an important decision.

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