Hi Anonymous -
The grass is always greener on the other side. I think you may be feeling jealous that your ex now appears to have the “perfect family” - the nice wife, the happy children, the house in suburbia, etc. - while you have chosen to go a less traditional, and less secure, route. Instead of worrying about the past - what you might have had or could have had - I think you need to concentrate on building your own life now, apart from your former husband.
For whatever reasons - you two made the decisions you did. It was not a workable situation, and your decision to separate has led to where you are today. It is important to respect your past, and the decisions you made. At the same time, you don’t want to hold on to the past - because it’s not here. Now is the time to concentrate on your future - what goals you have, what dreams you want to create, what lifestyle you choose to live now. The past is over, and you have to let go of it. I think you will feel a tremendous sense of liberation when you realize how flexible your future is.
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