best friend

Hi Anonymous -

You are not the first person to awaken from a sexual dream of someone who is not your partner. The dreams always make us feel a little awkward. What do they mean? Do we secretly wish we were with the other person? Is our relationship in trouble? Is this the beginning of the end?

Fortunately, none of these scenarios really is indicated. To the contrary, the only thing we can say about these dreams is that they suggest to us - fairly convincingly - that we find our dream lover attractive in some way.

I suspect your dreams are indicators you find your lover’s friend attractive, and that you are sexually curious about him. Before you get worried, though, it’s important to recognize that it’s normal to be attracted to attractive people. Your lover’s best friend most likely shares many similar values, interests, and qualities as your lover. Hence - the attraction.

Just to make it all the more complicated (and tempting), have you considered that, most likely, your lover’s friend finds you attractive as well? It’s a potentially volatile situation, but at this point there hardly appears to be any compelling reason, other than sexual curiosity, to break up this mutual admiration society.

It is a hallmark of maturity to be able to recognize attraction without being compelled to act upon it. Another way of saying this is that there’s a world of difference between thinking about something - and actually doing it. The Dream Doctor’s advice? Accept the compliment of mutual attraction between yourself and your lover’s friend. But keep the fires burning at home.

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