I have a recurring dream that my ex-boyfriend comes around and says he needs to talk and he wants me to go somewhere with him. (I have been apart from my ex-boyfriend for over four years. He was abusive through our entire relationship and still comes around every six months or so.) I tell him that I will go, but this will be the last time I ever want to talk to him, and that I want him to leave me alone from now on.
So we go to a public place, and we are standing there and I start getting my insecure feeling again -- like I did every time I was with him -- and he starts to degrade me. I feel myself going back into the same rut of letting him control me.
Then I get this sudden burst of anger. I realize this is all wrong and I tell him that I am in love with my new boyfriend and I just want him to leave me alone. I turn around and see my current boyfriend who says to me, "I am here if you need me. Do what you have to."
So I turn around and go to punch my ex. I try with all my might, but it is as though I almost just poke him with my finger. I keep trying and trying and start crying with frustration. I turn around and my current boyfriend says, "You don't have to do this. I can take care of it for you."
This is the point when I make myself wake up because I can't stand the feelings of insecurity. Can you help? I probably have this dream on average once every two weeks. One time, I had this dream every day for a week straight.
—Kim, age 22, engaged to be married, Collinsville, IL