I keep having dreams about an old friend from high school. He and I were never romantically involved with each other, but we did go to prom together as friends, and we were developing a much closer friendship (at least, I thought we were) towards the end of high school. However, two things intervened to mess things up. The first was that I was going to college after high school and he wasn’t (however, I wasn’t going to college very far away from our home town). The second thing was that he was having a lot of problems at home, and his father threw him out of the house the night we graduated from high school.
Several days after that he came by my house and gave me a phone number of the relative he was staying with. However, when I tried to call this number, it turned out to be a wrong number. I didn’t think he’d done it on purpose, and I figured that he’d call me in a few days since he knew my phone number (which is still my parents’ phone number, incidentally). However, that never happened, and I have never heard from him since. In the five years since, I have gone on with my life, gone to college, and gotten married (I got married two years ago). However, I continue to this day to have dreams about my old friend.
Lately, these dreams have been happening with much more frequency. Usually, I meet up with him somewhere (at a party, on the street, at our old school, and other places) and it’s like I completely forget I am dreaming...I ask him where he has been, what he’s been doing, etc. He weasels out of answering my questions by getting himself lost back in the crowd or by asking me some inane question or sometimes by me waking up. I am guessing that he doesn’t answer my questions because he is a product of my brain and since I don’t know the answers to my questions, he can’t either.
However, every time I wake up from one of these dreams, I have a renewed curiousity about what happened to him, and I’ve considered trying to find him and meet up with him again. I even looked for his name on the Internet, but I didn’t have much success. I have this nagging doubt that perhaps he really did try to get rid of me on purpose by giving me a phony phone number (in which case, why would I want to meet up again with someone who’d do something like that?)
Well, last night, I had yet another dream about him. However, the details of this dream were slightly different. He was asking me the questions, and then he was angry with me because I hadn’t contacted him. I shouted back that I had his phone number, I called it and it was a wrong number, so I waited for him to call my parents’ number and he never did. He made no effort to contact me. Eventually, after I didn’t know where he was and none of our friends knew where he was, I decided that it was time to move on. “And guess what?” I said, as I pointed to my wedding ring. “I am now married - to somebody else!’ I woke up soon afterwards. Well, now I am wondering if my brain is finally deciding to move on. Perhaps I don’t need him to answer my questions after all. (But...I still wonder what happened). I don’t think I should be so obsessed with someone whom I have not even seen for five years...maybe this latest dream spells an end to that. What do you think? Thanks for any thoughts on this.
- Jill, Age 23, USA