interpretation help

I occasionally lucid dream, but what happened a few years ago - about 3 times in a 10 month span - was really disturbing. I consider it a lucid dream because I was asleep (dreaming) but I thought I was awake. My eyes were open and I was up walking around my bedroom seeing everything as it is, but at some point I realized I was dreaming and tried to talk myself into waking up, but couldn’t override this dream that was playing out in my mind! I was helpless to watch through my eyes, my hands flailing about and knowing the thoughts going through my mind weren’t real. After a few moments, it felt longer, I felt myself raise up a level of consciousness (best I can describe it) and was able to talk myself back to bed, like coaxing a child after a nightmare. I don’t think I was fully awake even then since I had no problem falling back to sleep, and I remember everything the next day.

I looked up some articles in sleep disorder books; confusional arousals, sleep walking, panic disorders (I was panicked in one way or another in these dreams) but their descriptions never fully described what I experienced. Instead of being asleep in my bed having a lucid dream and not being able to wake up, (that’s happened before), I was up acting it out and couldn’t wake up. Unlike a sleepwalker who doesn’t remember, I remembered everything. Once I spoke out loud, I am told, though I don’t remember that. Heard anything like this before? I know I’ve been brief but I don’t want the men in white to take me away. Any insight you have would be appreciated. I dread having one of these “things” again.

—Sandra, Age 32, Dundas

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