addictions

I had a strange dream the other night. First off, I’m a 33 year old male. I recently stopped doing drugs and drinking alcohol. I have been sober for 6 months. I am in the process of making amends for the damage I caused through my addictions. I am also trying to resolve the resentments I have.

I was back in high school. I had a lot of trouble back then. I was picked on, beaten up, and ostracized by the “in” crowd. I always hated them. I thought I had gotten over this a long time ago. I hadn’t even thought about this in a while. Still I had this dream about it. I think I was in the lunch room. I was getting picked on again. I finally had enough. I blew up in front of everyone. I cussed them all out. Students, teachers, and the principal. I currently go to Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings. Some of the people I go to meetings with were there. The principal was the person who ran the treatment center I went to 6 months ago. After I raged at all of them, I left and started walking down the road away from the school. Now, some of the students were outside. They kept on harrassing me. I saw a piece of rusty metal laying on the ground. I picked it up and it was a kind of square shape, like part of a belt buckle. I held it in my hand like brass knuckles and hit one of the guys. This was one of the ones who treated me badly in school. I hit him a couple of times in the head and then I got away. Next thing I know I’m at home. I’m talking to my Dad, something I rarely did or even do now. I tell him all about it. Then I tell him I want to go to a different school. He says it might cause problems, but if that’s what I want to do, I can. Then after I woke up, I was very angry for a while.

I’m not sure if this makes any sense to anyone else. Hell, it doesn’t make sense to me. That was so long ago and thought I had gotten over it. Maybe there is some resentment left that I must resolve, I’m not sure. I would welcome any insight anyone has on this dream.



--Jim, Age 33, Lamesa, TX, USA




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