Background: I am a 34-year-old single parent who works as a journalist on the crime and justice beat. I am presently covering a murder trial, but nothing in my dream relates to the circumstances.

During the course of my work, I suppose I am exposed to strange things, which might explain parts of the dream. I have previously had an abortion a year-and-a-half ago, though I feel it is mostly dealt with and behind me. This dream, however, has me wondering about a lot of strains - youth and age, strange births, mysteries, and becoming another. Nothing about the girl is reminiscent of my own teenhood—insofar as the nude pictures are concerned—nor the sense of vulnerability and exploitation per se.

The dream: I was on a mission of sorts involving a young woman with very long blond hair. The woman, I believe, was murdered, and I had to retrieve high school pictures of her nude that someone had assured me existed. I believe I put on a certain type of makeup to “become” her (I think) in order to find the pictures, and I went to this strange high school in my area that I’ve never been to before.

While being her, I somehow gave birth (in the girl’s washroom!) to a litter of creatures, amongst which was one small pup and a second human child that I sensed WAS her. I was quite alarmed, more by the pup, but in giving birth at all. The pup was somehow quite relevant to the case at hand, but why, I don’t know.

At one point, I recall there being a sense of time, a deadline, in which I had to solve the case. This became most pointed when I found her body (as an adult with long blond hair) in a mailbag under a row of coats. It was beginning to smell, and felt very real.

Most noticably, I didn’t experience the emotions one would expect over death, murder, birth, etc. I recall being rather surprised by my own matter-of-fact attitude about the discovery of the body.

When I found the body, I think the makeup I was wearing disolved, and I looked like myself again, only rather pale, as if my skin was milky and hadn’t seen the light for years. I felt frustrated that I hadn’t found the pictures - overlooking, perhaps, the value of the dog, body, and reincarnation of the dead girl - and awoke feeling strangely irritated by it all.

The quality of light in the dream was fairly bright, as if filtered from a sunny day. There was nothing dark or ominous about the environment. Is my psyche working overtime on the death—or birth—of innocence?!


--Kate, Ontario, CANADA




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